To my right and left lay papers upon papers, notes and other enormities that are associated with finals. The past couple of weeks papers have been imaginatively stuffed into my brain via my tiny ear openings, and in my mind I picture myself smiling with leaflets of paper protruding from my ears. It is that time of year that most students dread, finals.

Currently lonely droplets are colliding with the AC in dismal disgrace and the absence of light and pitter patters of the rain are sounds I am not a fan of, it's as enjoyable as country music. Though all of this is happening, Stevie Wonder and Donnie Hathaway are taking me down a little street. I imagine a colorful 2D urban landscape with cheerful people passing me as I stand. Everything is moving around me, the road is a conveyor belt underneath my feet. I am able to watch everything that has been happening in my life lately in deep enjoyment. Papers drop from the sky and turn into doves, people stick their heads out and sing lyrics from the song and a smile is on everyone of their faces. The picture is fuzzy, slightly rustic and has a twinge of 60's to it. The cars have muscle and size, the characters even have 60's style with their hair, clothes and socks. Music has placed me into a cool place full of light, makes me disregard the shame of Boston weather.

So finals are coming to a close, three fully down and 5 left to go. An anticipation of completion seems close, but so far away. Habitually we are so use to going to classes to the point that when you get close to completing them you can't really fathom them being finished. Usually this happens to me and when I finish my classes for summer I do nothing too productive. So, this summer I have some things that I want to accomplish as goals to live my summer by. 1) I want to master the basics of Flamenco and Bossa Nova guitar. 2) I want to be able to sing songs confidently and play outside. 3) I want to fully understand security analysis 4) Have a great time and 5) Create meaningful relationships and understand myself a little more.

On creating a meaningful relationship and relating to music therapy there is one common thing between the two, taking risks. During practicum class, which learn about our setting and play songs, we often have to put ourselves on the spot to help the client. We have to forget our insecurities and to fully connect with the patients and it is quite a hard task to accomplish, but the intrinsic feelings you and the client are rewarded fully outweigh the risk. It's funny because we don't risk anything physical, lose anything, but risk emotions which we hold tightly to ourselves. We put a value on these emotions and if someone shakes them up in a certain way then we feel totally worthless. Many musicians fear playing in front of an audience to the point where they will avoid it at all costs. Some even say they would prefer death then playing in front of the audience and messing. How messed up is that? I have realized it is quite irrational to say something like that. I'm starting to realize that it is the way you perceive a feeling or risk that makes it so hurtful. The same is with relationships.

Some people fear dating, for the fear of commitment, fear of rejection or the fear of a broken heart. I can say that I have been part of the fear of rejection mode for most of my life and because I was always conscious of this, I always acted a certain way that held me from being perceived as I really am. It becomes frustrating for the performer when they don't preform as well as they know they can or the person who is not able to express them as they know who they are. I guess we just have to be aware of our fears and look at them from an outside prospective. Until we do, we will be slaves to our fears a sad state of mind.