To my right and left lay papers upon papers, notes and other enormities that are associated with finals. The past couple of weeks papers have been imaginatively stuffed into my brain via my tiny ear openings, and in my mind I picture myself smiling with leaflets of paper protruding from my ears. It is that time of year that most students dread, finals.

Currently lonely droplets are colliding with the AC in dismal disgrace and the absence of light and pitter patters of the rain are sounds I am not a fan of, it's as enjoyable as country music. Though all of this is happening, Stevie Wonder and Donnie Hathaway are taking me down a little street. I imagine a colorful 2D urban landscape with cheerful people passing me as I stand. Everything is moving around me, the road is a conveyor belt underneath my feet. I am able to watch everything that has been happening in my life lately in deep enjoyment. Papers drop from the sky and turn into doves, people stick their heads out and sing lyrics from the song and a smile is on everyone of their faces. The picture is fuzzy, slightly rustic and has a twinge of 60's to it. The cars have muscle and size, the characters even have 60's style with their hair, clothes and socks. Music has placed me into a cool place full of light, makes me disregard the shame of Boston weather.

So finals are coming to a close, three fully down and 5 left to go. An anticipation of completion seems close, but so far away. Habitually we are so use to going to classes to the point that when you get close to completing them you can't really fathom them being finished. Usually this happens to me and when I finish my classes for summer I do nothing too productive. So, this summer I have some things that I want to accomplish as goals to live my summer by. 1) I want to master the basics of Flamenco and Bossa Nova guitar. 2) I want to be able to sing songs confidently and play outside. 3) I want to fully understand security analysis 4) Have a great time and 5) Create meaningful relationships and understand myself a little more.

On creating a meaningful relationship and relating to music therapy there is one common thing between the two, taking risks. During practicum class, which learn about our setting and play songs, we often have to put ourselves on the spot to help the client. We have to forget our insecurities and to fully connect with the patients and it is quite a hard task to accomplish, but the intrinsic feelings you and the client are rewarded fully outweigh the risk. It's funny because we don't risk anything physical, lose anything, but risk emotions which we hold tightly to ourselves. We put a value on these emotions and if someone shakes them up in a certain way then we feel totally worthless. Many musicians fear playing in front of an audience to the point where they will avoid it at all costs. Some even say they would prefer death then playing in front of the audience and messing. How messed up is that? I have realized it is quite irrational to say something like that. I'm starting to realize that it is the way you perceive a feeling or risk that makes it so hurtful. The same is with relationships.

Some people fear dating, for the fear of commitment, fear of rejection or the fear of a broken heart. I can say that I have been part of the fear of rejection mode for most of my life and because I was always conscious of this, I always acted a certain way that held me from being perceived as I really am. It becomes frustrating for the performer when they don't preform as well as they know they can or the person who is not able to express them as they know who they are. I guess we just have to be aware of our fears and look at them from an outside prospective. Until we do, we will be slaves to our fears a sad state of mind.

The boy has rekindled that long lost passionate affair with music. It has been music school that has drove the musical passion out of many souls but a simple change in thinking and instrumentation sure can do wonders.

When anything is assigned to you by someone else and is deemed "homework," you drag your feet and complain. Sound familiar? This homework could have even been something that at one time, you enjoyed to do. So what could be done to solve the problem? Why reinforcement baby.

Positive and negative reinforcement is used in your life and sometimes you don't even consciously think about it. You might think to yourself, "If I do a good job on my test I will go celebrate with some friends tonight." You are giving your self something positive for studying hard and putting in effort. A simple game of rewarding good behaviors. On the other hand, you use negative reinforcement when you do something negative when you don't do your preferred behavior. You think of something that you absolutely hate and that motivates you to behave accordingly.

While each and everyone of us vary in our amount and focus of reinforcement, some people lack reinforcement all together or don't even utilize this very effective tool. I played music only when I had to and this lead me to play and practice with no passion. Well now I'm changing that around. Now I am getting back into guitar because I'm inspired by my new instruments, Bossa Nova and Flamenco styles. I now utilize them to my advantage. I have been telling myself to get this much homework done, do this important thing, and that and then you will be able to play your new guitars and learn some new techniques. Now when I do my homework I focus exponentially harder and playing music has become what it use to be, pleasurable.

So yesterday my Exceptional Learners class had another great guest lecturer come and speak to us. This woman was doing some interesting research in the Philippines trying to discover the healing power of music in Philippino tradition. Though she taught us a little about Philippino traditional music and medicine we talked mostly about cultural acceptance and I feel many Americans lack this acceptance.

As everyone already knows there are many different perspectives of medicine and the human condition between the East and West. Here in the West we try to dissect each part of a medical PROBLEM and try to solve it. Notice my emphasis on medical problem. We always look at any medical condition in a negative context. Our medical vocabulary such as disease, cancer, disability, growth, chronic and virus. Yucky, those words are all horrible things and anytime you hear them you are sympathetic with anyone who has it and deep down inside you're happy that you don't have to deal with that problem. So whenever we think about medicine we think problem. Come on the only time that you go to the doctor is if you have a problem. Am I right? And whenever you need a check up you always put it off.

In the east it is a little different. They look at medicine as a product of the spirit, problem and the mind. The easterners have rituals on a constant basis and try to prevent the disease, quite the opposite of the West. In the traditional Philippines they have the Shaman or the Medicine Man/woman and the lecturer described many ways that use to heal. Music has actually been a part of the healing process for hundreds and hundreds of years and each tribe has their unique tradition and singing style. However, when the Spanish Conquestidors, the Japanese and the US colonized them they shunned their practices of medicine and tradition.

New problems arise for these tribes men and women. Their tradition is in danger because the new man shuns their identity, practices, culture and language. That is absolutely the worst thing you can do to hurt a person, knock their identity and tradition. We as humans hold our identity very close to ourselves because we don't want our language, culture and ideals to die because even though we will die, we know that our culture and language will last and last. Once that is in attack we get infuriated. However, we as Americans have killed the native American's identity. We should open our eyes to other cultures because #1 we can learn so much from their culture #2 we respect that person and their ideas. We as Americans have no respect for other people and their culture.

America also has their own problems as well. We as a nation have only been around for a couple of hundred of years and we are a melting pot of cultures. So many of us are unable to relate to people in the same way as someone say from a remote part of Africa. They have a sense of community that we could never possess. So as a part of our culture we lack identity. We always seem to struggle and never attain a true sense of self while other people in remote parts of the world are able to attain this or come closer. We rush to keep ourselves busy because if we are not we are worthless and we have no sense of self or identity. I have seen this in many people and I sure can say I suffer from this as well.

People ask what is my heritage and I kindly say I don't know. It's cool that other people can say I am from here and point it out on a map. I can't do that. I have to say I'm American, but that doesn't inspire national pride in myself. Americans are hated all over the world because of our foreign intervention, our political system is not what it says it is (not really democracy), corruption, business is dirty and American dream is dressed up by the cohorts of big banks draining money out of the poorest people while they get richer and richer. I hate that. Also, Americans are the fattest, most ignorant, laziest people on the face of the planet. We have no huge history as well.

Though I despise certain parts of our nation, I still love it for many reasons but I have been open to other cultures as well. I think many people here are unreceptive to other cultures and they miss out on finding their true self and respect the people around them. I can speak, read and write Korean and have been receptive to Korean culture. It's funny because even though I know very little of the language and culture, many Koreans say that I'm Korean. They sure can speak English better than I can speak Korean and know a lot about American culture but they accept me because I respect their identity.

I think the moral of this essay is that we must be receptive of other cultures to show respect and it might lead to a higher realization of our own identity. There are many perspectives on the same idea good and bad. We must take the good from every culture and not shun them. If we narrowly think we are better we have not attained a part of our self realization.